Reviving an Old Pastime

It's been such a long time since I wrote anything simply for the fun of it. But it is a new year, and maybe an opportunity to get in touch back with what I used to love. Writing has been a form of release a number of times, but these days, those words remained stuck in my head in an endless loop that keeps me awake at nights, that maybe, its high time I wrote them all down. 

On 2020

The year that was... 

It was eventful to say the least, but with it, a lot of lessons and changes. Some good, some bad, but ultimately, its a year to be thankful still:

• for being alive
• for family
• for friends
• for work
• for the unexpected blessings
• for the extra time to spend not being taken up by traffic

It was also an opportunity that allowed us to help others even in our own small way. Charity has always been a part of what I do yearly, and last year was no different, except doing different types of stuff compared to just usually emptying out my closets and donating to NGOs.

On 2021

Hopeful and a bit apprehensive, but keeping motivated. Its always a good idea to stay positive. 

Keeping this short and sweet as my future giggles cutely and demands attention. 

Boob Envy: Why Bigger Isn't Necessarily Better

For some odd reason or another, I usually find myself encountering situations where I become the subject of boob envy. Granted, my breasts might be slightly bigger than average for an Asian, it doesn't mean I don't deal with problems that comes with it.

Every time I complain about how cumbersome it is, people reacts with the usual "you're blessed so why are you complaining", or "if you don't like it, please donate it to my chest", and other in the same vein. But I wonder if people really understand the dilemma of having larger than average breasts.

Here are some of the things and situations I encountered:

1. Growing breasts are expensive

The main thing to note when your breasts start growing is the need for bigger bras. And they are not cheap. Bras that offer the much-needed support to your growing lady lumps means spending more. It also pays to invest in higher priced bras from reputable brands as they last longer, meaning, you end up spending now, but saving later since you don't have to keep on buying new ones when the underwire pops out, the pads get distorted, the straps had gone bacon, and for other possible bra issues you'll encounter.

2. New wardrobe is expensive

More than just your brasserie needing an upgrade, so does your wardrobe. And again, replacing your entire wardrobe cost a whole lot more than just bras. Favorite tops? Forget about it. They're better off going into a donation box as you'll probably be unable to fit in one. Though the breast growth might be gradual, the reality of your clothes not going to be able to accommodate the growth exists. Spare the loose tops from the closet clean up and say goodbye to structured tops that don't have much stretch. Less pressure on the chest area is a welcome relief to your lungs. Be prepared to invest in clothes that come in stretchier fabric.

3. Button-downs? Have it tailored to fit!

Usually, its the men who visit tailor shops to get fitted for suits and stuff to ensure the perfect silhouette for their physique. But if you have larger than average breast size, it's unavoidable. Wearing a medium button down that used to fit when you're a cup A will pop open when you become a cup B. Likewise, buying a bigger size to fit your chest will look unflattering from the chest down.

4. Never quite knowing what dress size to get

More than troubles with button-downs that won't stay close, choosing which size to shop for in general is a trial and error that wouldn't disappear anytime soon. Medium sizes look great from the chest down, but pretty much creates an unflattering figure for your chest. Large sizes might solve the problem pertaining to the chest area, but becomes too voluminous beneath the breast that the look becomes unbalanced. Who says clothes shopping is relaxing must not have to deal with finding clothes you want in sizes that can't seem to fit properly.

5. No long term relief for back pain

Since breasts are made of mostly fats, it is to be expected that they are quite heavy as well. It's not a treat for your back when gravity weighs down your front.

6. The occasional occurrence of breast pain

Expect to feel sudden jolts of pain in your chest area when doing strenuous activities without proper chest support. As they are juggling masses of tissue, its not surprising over exerting yourself would cause gravity to act on it more and result in that sudden pain.

7. The accidental brush

Bigger chest means higher chances of experiencing strangers brushing past you. Yes, we do our best to protect our chest from being bumped into, but that doesn't mean we'll succeed all the time. Most especially in tightly packed spaces like buses or trains, you'll definitely feel accidental brushes on your lady lumps

8. Face up here, not down there

Ever had the experience of talking to someone whose eyes linger on your chests? Then, welcome to the club. Despite guys claiming they find faces the most attractive part of a female, they still end up zeroing in on those lovely mounds. It can be flattering at times, but its still eye-rape.

9. Bend Down Not

The 'bend and snap' trick shown by Elle Woods of Legally Blonde movie series might seem a good way to attract the opposite sex, but in reality, in a conservative nation, you get chastised when you bent down and expose the top of your breasts unintentionally. I don't think any shirt stays in place on your chest unless it's a body con type fit, and being demure won't pick up your stuff for you when they fall down. But the reaction we get at those instances brings to mind how rape culture places the blame on women being provocative resulting in untoward sexual advances. How can women be practical and do the things they need to do if we're going to be all demure about accidentally showing a bit of skin? It's not a woman's fault if the man can't keep his eyes and his hands to himself. It's also not a woman's fault when her clothes shows a bit more skin when bending down to retrieve something or do some work, it's the other person's fault for injecting explicit thoughts at an otherwise innocent act or gesture.

10. Breast Cancer, enough said

Whether your breast size is natural or enhanced, you're still at risk for breast cancer.

Breasts aren't like things you see in the store with signs that goes, "nice to look, nice to hold, but if you break it, its considered sold". They are a part of your body that you have to live with, learn to navigate the world with, all the while protecting it as much as you can from getting injured. They're not something you can reduce or enlarge at will, without cost.

At the end of the day, the bottom line is love what you have, inconveniences and all. You only have one body, take care of it. Be content with what you have, since the one you're desiring for might not actually be all it's cracked up to be.

I would definitely love to hear your opinions and your own experiences in regards to this, so share away at the comments below.

Taking on the 52 weeks money challenge

Here's to my first post in 2014!

At present, I am taking on the 52 weeks money challenge! It sounds fairly easy enough when you start it, saving less than a 100 in the first 10 weeks, but it's bound to get more difficult after. On searching for checklists I can use though, I only find guides in doolars. Thus, I'm doing this without any regard for the balance with increments of P 10 rather than P 1. If this proves quite successful a challenge, I might just consider doing this annually, and increasing the increments if I'm able to. Being blind to the end balance means, I'll only find out how much I've actually saved at th end of the 52nd week.

If you feel like starting your own challenge, it's always a good idea to start with a small amount. Set a day during the week when you'll be setting aside your money challenge dues. If you're the type who gets motivated seeing your savings grow, by all means, recycle a clear bottle to serve as your personal bank. If you're going traditional, choosing a coin bank is always a good option. You can also create a checklist for yourself if you're really more into visual motivation, or you can make use of technology and set a 52-week long reminder on your smartphones, tablets or any gadget you use.

There are many wyas to go about it, but at the end of the day, it'll always be exciting to take on new challenges that make you a better person and help teach you about saving and budgeting. Come to think of it, this is actually quite a good exercise to teach kids!

Dealing...

I always tell myself I would blog more, write more, dream more, think more and put whatever I feel like out there... But as always, that doesn't seem to be the case. I always end up finding myself writing when it gets too crowded emotionally or mentally that I somehow need to vent. True, venting out to friends seems to be the thing best to do, but there are just simply times I appreciate the pseudo-anonymity the internet provides.

So how is it possible that I survived far more pain in the years of past without the need to write it all down, and yet, the pain I suffer in silence currently has begged me to put it all out there? I can't help but wonder if the strength I had stocked up on in the trying parts of life had somehow been depleted tremendously that I am left with the need to vent out, in my typically vague manner, of course.

Either way, I feel a bit better, though I know this is far from over. But reality and responsibility beckons, and I must heed their call for I am not a super woman, nor do I consider myself extraordinarily gifted with inhuman abilities to juggle everything without need for some emotional reprieve.

News Thoughts: RH Bill Approved

Here's one piece of news that I feel is quite welcome on the heels of the violence of the Connecticut shooting - the RH Bill has finally been approved! Yehey!

Listening on the news last night on the way home, it is very much fun to note that no women member of the Senate had voted against the bill, whereas, the eight senators who had been outvoted are all men. I'm not sure how many voted in the congress are women, but the odds are of course in the favor of the bill at about 60 - 40 split, the actual number of senate being 13 pro - 8 anti, and the congress around 100+ - 80+ (can't recall the exact).

After all the drama that unfolded since its inception, it has been finally approved after the final reading. But its really funny how some of the people involved in passing the bill is so hanged up on the word satisfying. Guess we really are a country run by people who are still unable to grasp the difference between then and now, but luckily for us, we actually do have forward thinkers in the government that looks at it more from the perspective of the realistic need of the country than the spiritual need.

Throughout this event, I am quite glad to note that there are people who started to notice that the church is indeed pushing the boundary protecting the separation of church and state. At least, I'm not the only one noticing how the church seems to want to influence the legislature and allow our country to remain a backward one.

News Thoughts: Royal Family Blamed for Nurse Suicide

If you haven't been hiding under a rock for the last quarter of the year, news of the Duchess of Cambridge aka Kate Middleton, before her marriage to Prince William of the British throne, being pregnant has been overshadowed by a tragedy.

Such joyous news should have been met with tons of congratulations, loads of royal watchers and baby bump watchers would be clamoring to get a glimpse of the commoner cum royal just to see how far along she is, but instead, a tragedy instigated by a prank call lead to this wondrous occasion to be forever stained.

Jacintha Saldanha, the nurse who committed suicide in her quarters at the King Edward VII Hospital, from what I can gather, was of Indian descent. She was a mother of two and very much married at the time of her demise. She was also the receiver of a prank joke by two Australian DJs of a radio show on 2DayFM, Mel Grieg and Michael Christian, three days prior to her suicide. Found among her belongings were three apparent suicide notes, two of which were readily recovered at the scene of the tragedy and the final one most probably in her luggage as reports indicate vaguely that it was found among her possessions. Also noted, injuries on her wrists were found at the time of her death, their nature has been pretty much left unsaid, and it is my best guess that they could have been signs of cutting injuries. How long they have been there, your guess is as good as mine.

Despite obvious reasons pointing to the suicide as something that had already been attempted at, or at least hinted at, a number of people are placing the blame on the newly-wed Royal couple due simply to their association with the hospital, its staff and of course, being the object of the DJs misfired prank call. The person who has been most notably vocal about the whole thing is Morissey, who seems to think that blaming people simply due to association a very clever and wise move.

It makes you wonder why throw light on the Royal couple when we should be more concerned about the lack of awareness people working and living with Saldanha have. Suicidal tendencies aren't something that happens overnight. It is a long-term psychological problem that should be addressed properly. It is not something people decide to do in the spur of the moment. It is something that increases gradually at a time, as the injuries on her wrists would suggest. Suicidal tendencies exist most especially in people who suffers from some form of depression, but it could also be the result of other things. Since we are of course not aware of what the mother of two had been going through, we cannot therefore simply form assumptions at what could have cause this behavior. The prank call may or may not have been the trigger that led to her final attempt at suicide, albeit a successful one, but unless the contents of the three suicide letters were made public, most especially dates to when it was written, we are pretty much left in the dark of her psychological state at the time.

I am deeply sorry for the royal in the womb, as the reports of its conception has been marred by people wanting to blame his parents simply for their association to a woman who had taken her own life. And to those who still claim the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge cares naught for a fallen health care provider, they best be informed that the couple had issued a joint statement concerning this matter shortly after hearing about this tragedy. You can find their statement here.

Celebrity Thoughts: RobSten Marriage

It's not everyday I comment on celebrity news, but more than the rumors of Robert Patinson and Kristen Stew, or RobSten, tying the knot soon, the thing that irks me the most at times is how people who don't know the two personally comment on their relationship as if they know better.

Anyway, here's a link to the article about this news: http://ph.omg.yahoo.com/news/pattinson-stewart-split-marriage-170000474.html

While there are some well-wishers commenting on the article, there are quite a huge number of negative criticisms about it. From people predicting they'll divorce within the next five years, people chastising Robert for forgiving Kristen on her ill-advised discretion, to encouraging him to dump Kristen and date around.

Honestly, we live in such a duality. The guys go like dump the girl she cheated on you, she doesn't deserve a second chance, and yet, a number of these same guys boast about having met and dated tons of "good" women. So how is being a serial dater different from cheating on your current girlfriend many times over? Or are we really into the idea of casual relationship where people sleep around and nobody blinks an eyelash at this practice? And then, there's also the girls who judge Kristen harshly for her momentary indiscretion. It's not like it was something she planned on, it was a result of something much more deeper.

People who are serious about their relationship don't just jump into the arms of another unless there's something they're not getting from their partner. It doesn't mean they love their partner any less, it just so happens that there are some things that they feel they don't get at certain points of the relationship. I mean who here hasn't felt under-appreciated occasionally? Who here can say that they're content in their relationship all the time? Who can claim that they never had any bad day in their relationship? If you do, well and good, you must have an extremely one-sided dictated relationship with a mindless partner. As humans, we're thinking creatures, thus, we are meant to work at relationships because without nurturing the relationship, it will fall apart. But that doesn't mean we all know how to work at it to avoid the pitfalls that all relationships seem to encounter one way or another. A relationship is made up of two individuals who want to build a life together, they are not two mindless entities who you can put together and expect them to flourish.

Robert and Kristen deserve to work on their relationship in peace. To do what they feel is best for each other. But due to their celebrity status, peace is pretty much elusive, and it doesn't help that there are people who feel that this couple struggling to make theirs work should just give up and throw in the towel. I do whoever wish them the best of luck, and I hope that the opinions of strangers wouldn't deter them from making the decisions of their lives solely for their own benefit and not for the legions of people who are torn between celebrating their union, waiting and expecting them to fail, and those who delight in criticizing others.