Why is it that many people find writing so easy when they're suffering from some sort of emotional trauma? Is inspiration something that you can only find at the moment of extreme emotion? Whether it be happiness or sadness, loneliness or anger, words seem to flow more easily, thoughts come jumbling out like water geysers coming out from the ground? And yet, despite all these possible triggers, why are there people labeled as emo that kept everything inside?
I'm just thinking about it, and yet, sometimes I find it hard to write down my thoughts. It's weird when writing is my trade, but when it comes to putting my thoughts down on paper (or in this case a digital one), I find that I have a tendency to lose my train of thought.
So how is today different? I guess the many emotions/moods I had gone through the whole day. Curiosity, to annoyance, calm, guilt, apprehension, disillusionment, fatigue, sense of hopelessness, desperation, depression and the underlying sense of determination. Choosing to move forward despite the chaotic instance I find myself in. Readying myself for a perceived rejection and trying my best to steel myself to the inevitable hurt that would undoubtedly follow. Despite the smile pasted most of the day, the fact still remains that my heart suffers at this failed dream. Though it has not yet come to pass, the possibility is there, therefore to simply look at it positively is quite naive. Hasn't it always been said that prepare for the worst and hope for the best?
I don't know what is it that weighs heavily on my heart these days. Maybe I had lost my enthusiasm for life for the moment, but I just hope it won't take long to get it back.
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